Merry Christmas!! 🎄☃️

I've been thinking more about it recently and I really believe a lot of the anti-ai stuff is people trying to police taste when they make fun of the quality of output, in the same cynical way Ben Shapiro hates Hip-Hop. AI art is "bad for your soul" in the same way as autotune is.

The Donner Party probably had no choice but to eat several days ahead into their advent calendars

Democrats actively do not want to be in power. They look better when a republican is in, and they don't have to take responsibility for anything. They have no goals they wish to advance. They don't believe in anything. And all of this is especially true for Biden

Then laying his finger aside of his nose
And giving a nod, up the chimney he rose.
He sprung to his sleigh, to his team gave a whistle,
And away they all flew, like homemade Hamas missiles

He had a broad face, and a little round belly,
that shook when he laugh'd, like a bowl full of jelly!
(Doing the sound) shwoobwoobwoob, haha! (Wetting finger and turning the page)

It's going to be crazy for some people when they reach their mid 20s and realize their abrasive personality has irrevocably destroyed their social life.

Nerds, Craftsmen, Manly Men, Knife Guys. Long ago the four nations lived together in harmony, then everything changed when the socks nation attacked.

pressing thumbs into joe biden's eye sockets (relaxing, stimming, slime ASMR, tiktok)

Every Iron Dome missile costs the price of a brand-new F-150 pickup truck, to take down a rocket the price of a walmart bicycle.

The israeli project is one that filters for psychopaths. Good, empathetic people do not move there. It is a place that, by design, attracts ignorant, narcissistic, delusional freaks. They want the worlds coldest and cruel.

Everything feeling fresh today, like a Roman tyrant died. Like we're going to have a new coin. A trumpeting herald is going to announce the new games.

Henry Kissinger just died

Explaining to the grieving families in Gaza that the death of their loved ones and destruction of their homes is because western conservatives are playing a make-believe game about living in a Lord of the Rings style fantasy world beset upon by unholy alliances and avowed enemies

(Media interviewer) But you knew it was pajama day at that preschool

(Israeli spokesman) You would agree with me that "Israel" sounds like an elven name, where as "Gaza", that's an orc name.

(Media) Nobody is denying that Israel has the right to defend itself from orcs. Nobody.

"One time in the 90s, a hamas suicide bomber killed 16 Israelis" you've fired bombs that explode into katanas into a hundred pediatric cancer wards

I'm going to tell you something that you might never have heard before, I give you permission to care. You don't have to listen to anybody you can go right ahead and care. Legally they can't stop you. And if they try, other's around you care and they got your back.

If Israeli officials are ever brought to justice they should make them sit on these benches. Make their asses touch the same piece of wood.

Jan 30, 2024
Over the last few months I've reconsidered my words and would like to clarify my views on this. I think they should rig these up as electric chairs and leave the power on until their skin boils.

Every human being in the world has the right to defend themselves from the united states.

"But do you condemn hamas?" wtf does my opinion matter to anyone getting their paper with a ski mask and rpg, turnt up on some gang shit

The Palestinians were hesitant when I told them that we need to explode a second Suez canal straight through their ancient city, but they finally agreed when I explained how americans could receive their novelty Star Wars waffle makers one whole day sooner than amazon suggested.

IDF media budget: $1,700,000,000 USD
Output: Sooo... hi. (Sips starbucks) (iPhone camera falls over) (lo-fi hip-hop starts playing) yeah, I've been a mess since THAT thing happened 🙄

Hamas media budget: google play gift card
Output: adding roblox oof sound to IDF tanks exploding

Sike. Just kidding. Not sike.

(Infinitely patient math teacher voice) Nope, see, (Grabbing your pencil) we want to squaaaarrrree this circle. We want squaaaarrrree it.

I wish I had an accurate gauge for public opinion on the situation but it definitely feels like Israel is losing their propaganda campaign very badly.

(Breathing in the contents of a helium balloon to avoid hitting the weight threshold at the draft office)

I'm sorry sir, you don't meet our physical req-

(Extremely high-pitched voice) Come on sarge! Let me at 'em!!!

If I was traveling with you I would hold the map and point at the mountain pass, and say "we are going to have to take the mountain pass". you know, really sell the adventure.

(Stirring all our coffees with the same spoon) One spoon. The covid spoon.

I've been sent sailing off in an arc, if anyone needs anything.

The grave of the unknown hdmi port

The abandon your posts flee for your lives to no matter what comes through that gate you will stand your ground pipeline

For other uses, see goated, swag, and cash money (disambiguation).

Squirrels chasing each other around the tree trunk are probably having the most fun that can be had

I was today years old when I found out Pingu was just eating modelling clay

Check out a hum-dinger of a doosy if you ever get the chance

Hate it when my hay fork leaves nary a scratch on the creature's scale hide.

WebMD: living with Morgul blade flare-ups

Tomatoes, sausages, nice crispy bacon. We saved some for you, your honor.

Clicking "remind me later" when my printer software asks if I'd like to register my product. I don't have the heart to tell them.

Reloading the toner for a single print job like it's a Howitzer

Maybe I was just spoiled with our side of twitter, but I've definitely gotten more dog shit, braindead replies on Bluesky from non-mutuals. It's beyond like basic social media etiquette.

Giving a customer a horsey ride around the aisles

white boy dances a perfect mating ritual in front of western parotia

Asking the guy at the home depot lumber section if I can live behind the plywood

(Whistling) is that a genuine HP toner cartridge

I'm going to inherent the earth, if anyone needs anything.

Hanging onto my Deku leaf, riding the updraft of a nuclear explosion

Anteater drake be like I need a some ants

There's a guy holding up the line at the hamster bottle. Get off the nip. We want to sip the nip.

Drinking three cups of coffee at 9pm and hearing an unaccompanied jersey club bassline emanating from the fourth dimension

(Watching you fall out of a passing airship and crash through the roof of my barn) Listen pal, you're going to have to begin your life anew in our quite farming village to pay for that.

bro I'm not sacrificing this guy to the rain gods (alpaca eating grain from my hand) I'm trading him for a new adze..

I saw a customer at the grocery store yesterday. I told him how cool it was to meet him in person, but I didn’t want to be a douche and bother him and ask him for photos or anything. He said, “Oh, like you’re doing now?”

I'm going to find out the answers to these questions and many more in the next exciting episode of Dragon Ball, if anyone needs anything.

I'm not a coffee expert or anything, but I have never had bad Ethiopian coffee.

I'll let you try my Wu-Tang style your honor

It's called a bear trap because I'm currently prying my leg free with my "bare" hands

The most important thing that people want to know when posting with friends and family on social media, is that the site is controlled by a corporation who's ominous, industrial X hangs glowing in the city smog above a villainous lair.

I've accidentally welded together the last ring of my room-sized armillary sphere while standing inside it, caging me within. It would take the planets aligning for me to escape.

Drip kings 🤝 ice gods being 1950s appliances

I try to think in terms of community. Making friends in a subculture or scene by supporting their art, and making art that other people in the scene would be proud to associate with. The eyes will follow if they see a space with enthusiastic and creative people. Too many try to lone-wolf it and fail

Hey guys, I've set up my art account here, check it out if you'd like. Thanks! ✌️❤️ https://bsky.app/profile/shrineambience.bsky.social

I've been described by neighbors and colleagues as callous, spiteful, prone to violent fits of rage your honor

Getting my news from a leftist twitch streamer's highlights on youtube a full day later, like a newspaper

(My buddy) hey man I'm going down to shovel the open air cesspit later wanna give me a hand

(Me) yo what that's the grossest-

(My buddy) I'm collecting night soil, you want to scoop some night soil

(Me) Night soil? That sounds whimsical af toss me a spade

Graham Hancock-esque quack historians insisting that the Bluesky Elders were mods, widely disregarded by historians for having no supporting evidence

People with little-to-no political context or vocabulary will almost certainly miss the message, but they will NOT miss the very basic social etiquette you are violating by preemptively making them feel bad like they did something wrong.

I see a lot of leftist accounts get mad about things like chapo or hassan, and I just don't get it. Like, people are more likely to get into politics if it can be relatable and fun on some level. If they see you doing purity testing and game-of-thrones online backbiting, they're going to be put off.

Like 99.9% of users on Bluesky have leftist views, support lgbt, support minorities, etc Let's chill with the endless political purity testing and have a place where more people feel comfortable coming over and hanging out and posting jokes and art and cat pictures please

Counterpoint: Declaring you and your friends "self-appointed mods" and "elders of the website", and creating an atmosphere of fear with public shame lists for anyone who disagrees with you is bad behavior regardless of whether or not you've ever had influence in a community before.

Marginalized groups are at risk of (check notes) being in a space filled with funnier and more chill leftists who don't larp as internet khemir rouge agents making public shame lists of those they deem political enemies. Sounds like another freaking hell site !

The power users on Bluesky remind me of 2011 public minecraft server mods. Like you and your friends are trying to build a village out of mud and the chat in the background is VIP accounts trying to recruit 7 yr olds to take sides in a divorce between the owner and his wife who pays the server bill.

Don't forget to create a protection racket where, in exchange for people reinforcing your moral authority, you refrain from unleashing your sycophants on them in a blur of accusations and character assassination. Everyone will want to voluntarily spend time around you, growing your community.

Several of the most "rule by fear" power users on Bluesky such as Kairi and Aveta have ko-fi accounts where they've made hundreds of dollars in donations from their followers, for being "self-declared mods".
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I want bluesky to be a safe place for vulnerable groups but the side of leftist twitter I'm from doesn't resort to Sea Org level purging of the ranks for every mild transgression.

A dreadful fore-warning is basically goated in any situation where terrifying the people most woefully is the vibe

I'm on my first watch of next generation, just wrapping up the first season so far which is a little rough but I'm enjoying it and assume it's only going to get better. Been watching just one episode a night to make it last, and feel more like original tv

That's below the belt your honor

A bee became trapped in the space between the drawbridge and the portcullis. I'm trying to slightly open it for him without getting stung.

I'll go back to posting about drawbridges and bumblebees tomorrow

My favourite leftist accounts coming on here and overrunning the what's hot page after a week of paranoid cancel culture frenzy feels like when north vietnam had to invade cambodia to shut down the khmer rouge

New theory on what hole these bluesky liberals crawled out of: it's the Hillary and Warren supporters that the chapo-adjacent left bullied off of the internet in 2019

The fourth grade prepared me for a game boy cartridge and pokemon card based economy

bro you don't have to hold your manhood cheap if you don't want to fight with us upon Saint Crispin’s day. It's a lot for me to ask of a gentleman in England now a-bed.

I hate running into people I know when I'm traversing the studs behind my drywall

Don't tell me to touch grass. Me and my downed aircraft crew haven't seen a single plant amongst the dunes in three weeks.

My pronouns are am-I-being-detained/am-I-free-to-leave

I'm nostalgic for a month ago when I didn't ask myself "has this person ever used the internet" every time I encounter that side of the Bluesky user base

I hope they've kept their computer on, I haven't finished getting windows ready

A rogue faction of tumblrcore leftists trying to throw a coup while making threats and demands at the devs was not on my bluesky bingo card.
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Thought we were going to lay low and have a chill place to post jokes/politics, hiding in plain sight amongst reddit refugees and normal twitter people distancing themselves from elon twitter. Maybe not blow up the spot, you know.

They give you one blue raspberry jolly rancher in the bag, like a holographic pokemon card.

The King has requested I give it to him straight, cut the song and dance. I don't know how to tell him I've hired seven minstrels, and the puppeteers from the market to explain how his entire army has been destroyed in the field. they're peeking impatiently into the throne room, waiting on my cue.

You can't keep hanging on to these linen caps and wooden bucklers you acquired while farming goblins, dude. Put 'em at the curb, someone will take them.

Dead Internet Theory is when you have lot's of online friends from around the world who you say good morning to every day, and you send each other nice things like zines and original artwork. Honestly I took it really hard when I found out they were just bots.

I just added games to bluesky. Like flash games. Some stickman fight animations too, and a funny mario one. Update your app and check it out!

I'm bobbing up and down with the ducks in the Spirited Away bathhouse

Had a beige 2003 Camry. V6, sunroof, cd and cassette deck. When it left I watched it drive away up the road. I now advocate for pedestrian and cycling infrastructure, I could never enjoy another car again.

Just got 10 laugh reacts on a riff in the bluesky gc

when my embedded guerilla toddlers melt back into american society undetected

Yeah, my car "breaks" for turtles. They're under there with a ratchet helping me fix the dang thing.

We need to get the cost-per-pound lower in spaceflight so we can pack more tonnage of explosives in the self destruct protocols

The 2nd amendment describes one's god-given right to keep and bear torches to wave back and forth at approaching wildlife

Please don't offer me ice cream. My buddy's ship was creamed by an iceberg.

Donating invite codes like it's international relief

(Data) This.. cool "S". What are it's origins?

(Me) It's one of earth's most profound mysteries, Data.

(Data, connecting the diagonal lines) Intriguing.

(Communicator badge bleeps) I'm teaching Data how to draw anime, sir.

The leading cause of death in Redwall is one's habitual overindulgence in food and wine. The second is being struck down by the cutlass of a bilge rat.

Midwestern redwall characters insisting that you take home a months worth of raspberry scones and honey biscuits in an old tupperware container, telling you to put them in the freezer

My local watering hole? No, we rely on the brief oases created in rare flash flooding events

I want my account to feel like you're at your estranged grandparents house and they only have ginger ale and weird disney sequels on vhs, but the way the light is shining through the blinds onto the wall is nice so you just watch that for a while.

I'm on indefinite leave from twitter. It feels good to throw my weight in a new place, and help make a space for us over here, but it's been like wading through molasses with the invite code limit. I'm very concerned about what to do with my art account, though.

Doing numbers in the web 4 email newsletters. You know you went viral when your posts show up in forum signatures

The temperature on Twitter is 105 degrees and rising.

(bluesky family seeing you poking your head out of your twitter bedroom) Look who finally decided to join us at the table!

For the first time in history a lobster is eating a billionaire

This is the darkest day the ukulele has seen since Imperial Japan bombed Hawaii

The desert winds whispering in my ear are saying that my expedition is "god forsaken". Like, now you freaking tell me.

I'm getting an earful from my commander for arriving on the battlefield with my soldiers "not a moment too late", when he needed me here "not a moment too soon". Next time I'll show up in the nick of time, just to mess with him.

Goku believes in you. in case you needed to hear it today

Kind of want to keep the invite only thing going for a bit longer. It's giving our corner of twitter a chance to establish over here, and keeping a lot of very shitty people out. I just wish they gave out codes more often like once a week at least.

I'm going in for a cheeky peek in the Titanic. Just a peek, mind you!

One last big shower, then I'm out of the showering game for good.

bow Moblins, mo' problems.

(Getting waterboarded) Unbothered. Moisturized. Happy. In my lane. Focused. Flourishing.

(Picard) and it's true, that you've violated the Prime Directive?

(Sentient brain slug controlling me) Yes Sir, it was unbecoming of a Star Fleet officer to open fire on his brothers- on the brain slugs closing in around him. ..Around me.

(Picard) Very well. Data, beam him back to the surface. Let the brain slugs feast on him.

(Sentient brain slug making me smile) 🙂

Un-ironically been getting back into email newsletters. I need more of my favourite people to just send me a bunch of cool links once a week.

Think of the frame rate boost we're all getting with the draw distance this low

I'm going so far as to say, if anyone needs anything.

Twitter mutuals are on their vampire arc, the way they cannot enter this app without being invited in

watching the sentient, seeping ooze breaching it's containment airlock) can someone bring me some paper towels

We bring seven mutuals from Cryptoids, m'lord. Twelve more from Steve Chat..

(Ominously) the last of the butter

"None who venture into this forest ever return." That's fine, all my buddies are already in there

Just beat Minish Cap for the first time

Stop pouring hot oil on my soldiers attacking your gate. You should be pouring it into a sealed container and disposing of it in the garbage.

Here, I'll mark it on your map. (Gets permanent marker ink on your priceless antique map)

I swear I will post nothing but bangers for my three followers.

You got 5 Rupees! That's kind of nice.

(Archeologist gently brushing the bottom of a pit) These guys were all distributed in the same sedimentary layer, probably homies

They've told me I will get a bluesky invite, and I quote: "when the cows come home". Yeah, like that's ever going to happen!!!

Tribal chanting growing louder in the distance is pretty much goated in any situation where abandoning the expedition is the vibe

Me and sandcrab are hanging out on bluesky social, making each other laugh. He told me my replies were so good, he's never going to delete his posts again!

no end in sight

(Indiana Jones, handing Marion a torch) Here..

(Me, just slithering by)

(Indiana Jones) ..Wave it at anything that slithers.

(Me, slithering faster now)

Thousand Miles by Vanessa Carlton single-handedly cured the 9/11 blues

The only show on Canadian television is a cryptozoology documentary following a team of British marine biologists searching for the last Newfoundland cod fish. We all press against the glass at the Rogers storefront to see it.

(Lil pump voice) Your general is a dork, McClellan

By the summer of 1861, Wilmer McLean had had enough. Two great armies were converging on his farm, and what would be the first battle of the Civil War, Bull Run, would soon rage across the aging Virginian's farm: a Union shell going so far as to explode in the summer kitchen.

Hate it when my enemies billhook finds purchase, fetching me down from my steed

An invading colonial empire just interrupted the ancient, agrarian patterns of life in my rural village 🤦‍♂️

Lyndon B. Johnson: If we fail to bring the mcdondles to this poor, rural back water, well the world might just start calling into question why we're killin' these folks in such staggering numbers

Henry Kissinger: Imagine a burger, Mr. President..

LBJ: I can imagine it, Henry

I'm bringing my bone marimba to the sacrifice tonight, if any pan flute players want to jam

"We need to be careful, that photo you glanced at and assumed was real and formed an enraged opinion about in two seconds could be an AI fake!!!" Damn it didn't seem to matter before when you literally did exactly that for the last two decades.
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"What if a conservative reads misinformation?!!" I'll let you in on a secret, the only thing they want to consume is misinformation.

If you're wondering who bookmarked your tweet, it wasn't me. I only need one bookmark.

(To the tune of hotline bling) u know when ur brain dying

I'm such an accelerationist with ai disrupting work. The faster it happens, the more incentive we have to collectively change our way of life. The slower it is, the more painful it will be. Those unemployed will feel the poverty, and those left working will feel the unfairness.

come over to my metaverse house this morning, we're playing Secret of Mana in my sunshine living room simulation.

Oh, you're an apocalypse fan? Name four horsemen.

I took a break from twitter for most of February. I was really burned out from just seeing everyone dog pile hate on every stupid little thing they decided was bad, and endless quote tweets of horrible shit into my feed. Wish I could just see mutuals cat pictures at this point.

(My buddy, knapping an arrowhead)

(Me, slapping a big ball of clay)

(My buddy) those things hold stuff?

(Looking at my clay pots) yep, you can put things in them. You can put like, dirt or rocks. Like smallish rocks.

(My buddy) probably leaves..

(Me) yep, you could do leaves

(Me, thumbing through brochure) "The very air you breathe is a.." (struggling to read scratched out text) "..pleasant perfume."

(Mordor travel agent) *unintelligible goblin chittering*

Lampooned and marooned, without a doubloon: surviving your goons when they've all changed their tune.

It's not -20° out. It's 24°. The sun is shining. Wooper and Poliwag are out on the lawn running around in the sprinkler while I cut up bits of watermelon for them.

Americans are desensitized to cruelty to a degree that is almost unbelievable, looking in from outside. The absolute indifference I see in average US ppl online towards poverty, school shootings, homelessness, public education, healthcare, foreign invasions, etc.. it's evil.

bro are you seriously using the Wind Crystal to power your airship, you know it shrouds the land in calamity

Yeah, I'll get around to it!

(Me to the last remaining member of my species) I'm on my Noah arc

Still recovering but I'm doing a lot better. Thank you all for the well wishes ❤️

been absolutely bedridden with a fever since Friday night, think I'm starting to come around a bit

God have mercy: This sage's dreadful fore-warning terrifies the people most woefully

(Covering the handset on the phone) Goku, did you teach Caillou to kick holes in his parent's drywall?

(Goku, sitting on the floor smiling, eating four large pizza I got him)

Ma'am it seems Caillou was teaching Goku swear words. Now I don't know what flies in your house,

In all of these twitter updates they keep missing one thing: there are no ads in lists. You can add all of your favourite accounts into a list, pin the list, and have a chronological timeline ad-free 🤫🤭

Today's THURSDAY. That means the Bug-Catching Contest is on today. The rules are simple. Using one of your POKéMON, catch a bug POKéMON to be judged.

The international community needs to form a crisis intervention program to build wells, and wattle and daub school houses for american youth.

(Me on my deathbed) GPT-3.. GPT-3.. come closer..

(GPT-3, squeezing my hand) What is it? Is there anything specific I can help you with today?

(Me) Generate me an army of 10,000 terracotta warriors to protect me in the afterlife, each one unique, fantasy RPG, Moebius art style,

It was an honour contributing to this project ❤️ There are still a few days to pre-order a physical printing, which includes the digital edition as well https://bossfromtwitter.bigcartel.com

Merry and Pippin walking behind Gandalf, throwing paper ninja stars at his back while he grumbles to himself

I accidentally spilled my coin purse while trying to bribe a castle guard. You could practically hear the groans of the other folks in line behind me.

Our elder is getting an earful after the King found out our village is both destitute and squalid

Happy New Year !! 🥳🎆